Thunder, lighting, and snoring teenage wizards
by in a little boat
Summary: Harry discovers.. a laptop, in the Gryffindor dorm! .. intruiged, but soon to be nauseated, he discovers Fanfiction.net..and stories about Ron, Houselfgreaslings, etc! It's an idea that's been done to death, I know, but I think mine is special.
1. Thunder, lightning, and snoring teens

Ok.. so this has been done a million times, but I swear, this one is extra special and will be hilarious.. you will laugh!! Guaranteed or you get a cameo appearance. Actually you can have a cameo appearance even if you don't laugh, just put it in a review.

DISCLAIMER: In my own little world, I own Harry Potter. But in this one, sadly, no :(

Harry woke up at midnight in a cold sweat. Thunder and lightning shook the skies; a thunderstorm was well underway. Oh well, at least he wasn't at the Dursleys.

Surprisingly enough, though the thunder was ridiculously loud, the snores of all the other sleeping Gryffindors in the dorm were even louder. Damn, thought Harry, why do I have to be the light sleeper?

Something was glowing at the foot of a new muggle-born's bed. Harry, who was not feeling very enthusiastic about his ability to get back to sleep in this extremely noisy environment,was intruiged.

He crept over to the bed, and listened for a moment. Nobody moved, except Ron of course, who was having a nightmare about spiders and whimpering(actually, more like yelling), "_NOOOO!!!! Don't eat me you bloody monsters!!" _OK then, thought Harry, I may as well check it out.

He felt the object. It was a rectangular suitcase type of thing, and the light was coming from inside of it. He opened it, and a blaze of light filled the room. He dove under his bed and listened.

The snores didn't change. "_I know you want to suck my blood and everything, but I can't say I'm that interested," _muttered Ron.

Harry crept out and walked back over to the glowing object.

As he leaned over to it, he realized that it had writing on its screen..

In fact, it looked like a miniature version of the computer back at the Dursleys'.

_Weird_, thought Harry. _Maybe I should wake Ron._

"_AAAAAARGH no!!!!" _Ron shouted and started sobbing._ "Anything but Snape in a dress!!!!!"_

_Ok, _thought Harry. _I may as well put him out of his misery._

He went over to Ron and shook him.

"Tarantulas!!" he screamed, then saw Harry. "Bloody hell, Harry. You scared me."

"Look at this," Harry pointed at the computer. Ron looked perplexed.

"Uh.. that's nice.. What is it?"

"I think its called a.. Commuter."

"Wow. Harry, I'm going back to sleep." Ron yawned, but Harry pulled the blankets off of his bed.

"Come on!!"

Grumbling, Ron made his way over to the computer.

On the screen, it

1 of 4791

"Harry Gets a Piercing by Iknowharrypotterpersonally

Random Randomness!! Harry gets an eyebrow, chin, tongue, ears and 50 more piercings!!

Also, hilarity ensues when Ron dyes his hair pink and visits Marvin the Paranoid Android on

Planet X while wearing a feather boa and drinking vodka. Hihi omgomg r and r yeah!!

PS pairings are as follows HMKHHRRHARGAERGAERGAFFVASDVAXCZZVDF2RMPA"

They just gaped for a few minutes.

"That's not the worst of them.." Harry looked quite nauseated.

Ron read the next one out loud,

"2.) Dark and Dreary Roses and Teacups On a Sanguine Monday by RosaleeWeirdPerson

Snape and Dobby, madly in love, run off to Venice and live happily ever after, with their many HouseElfGreaslings.. such a sweet story.. R and R, please.."

Ron threw up on Neville, then laughed for a full 45 minutes.

"Ron, we have to tell someone. This could be serious." Harry looked disturbed..

"I have an idea," said Ron thoughtfully, before collapsing into a coma-like sleep.


	2. Who would have guessed

THUNDER LIGHTNING AND TEENAGE WIZARDS

PART TWO

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Harry Potter 

Harry sat nervously in the dark, as Ron snored in happy oblivion. Why was he so upset? Ron had not received anywhere near the amount of shock as he had.

Harry looked thoughtfully at the 'commuter,' and started to move, very slowly, towards it. It showed no signs of blowing up or moving on its own, and was clearly made by muggles, but it still made him shudder. The text on the screen danced offensively at him.

It took him a great deal of courage, but he began to read the text once again. Who was writing these things? And how did they know so much about him?

"Keep your friends close, but your enemies even closer..

by GETMEAGLASSOFWATERNOWORELSE

Over the summer, Hermione miraculously goes under a complete physical transformation, without the touch of a scalpel, and gets kidnapped by Draco, who has become a perfect but troubled gentleman and they kill Voldemort and live happily ever after!" Harry felt his stomach take a terrific lurch, and though he could not stop laughing about how unlikely it would be for Draco to ever be anything but an idiotic bully and coward, he still couldn't help feeling quite unnerved. He continued. "Soon to come, the chronicles of their children! A must read! PS Harry/Ron slash.."

"Slash?" said Harry out loud, pondering what it was supposed to mean. He shrugged and read on. He did not read on for very long, however, as the description of the story gave some incredibly **descriptive** information on what slash between him and Ron would mean. For a moment he just stared blankly into space. The next thing he knew, he felt a violent urge to vomit.

With incredibly impeccable timing, Neville yawned and rubbed his eyes. "What's that light? Is that you Harry? Seamus?"

Harry was perplexed. "Yeah, it's just me, get back to sleep."

But Neville was already staring fixedly at the computer.

"Harry.. what is that thing?"

The new muggle-born, who owned the machine, coughed violently and rolled over.

"It belongs to him," Harry gestured towards the coughing student and said this as quietly as he possibly could.

"Oh, it's a computer," Neville had sat up and gestured for Harry to put it on the bed, but Harry could not move.

"Tell me how to use it," he said, without looking away from the screen.

"Oh right then, that weird little dome there, that's how you move the little arrow on the screen.." and so on. Harry was well versed in computer lore within a short five minutes.

He clicked the button that read, "next," and waited for another page of stories to load.

It didn't.

As the page loaded, black waves of darkness spread themselves over the screen.

Ominous music, though quiet, played itself eerily over the speakers. Harry gaped. Ron had woken up at the sound of the music, and was sitting on the floor next to him.

The dark clouds that had formed on the screen parted to reveal an even darker background, and from out of nowhere, sharp, red text inscribed itself across the page.

It read:

"Welcome to Lord Voldemort's Personal Home Page

Click on the skull to enter"

Harry gaped. Ron gaped. Neville snored.

At the very bottom of the page, in the tiniest of small red lettering, it read:

"email: voldemortcanstoptherock said Ron. "So."

Harry ripped his eyes from the screen for a moment.

"So what?"

"So," repeated Ron matter of factly. "Are you going to click on the skull then?"


End file.
